AN OPEN LETTER TO AN EX GIRLFRIEND

Saw this on the Brooklyn Projects blog … pure genius:

My Dearest Terri:

I know the counselor said we shouldn’t contact each other during our “cooling off” period, but I couldn’t wait anymore. The day you left, I swore I’d never talk to you again. But that was just the wounded little boy in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first one to make contact. In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back to me. I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride’s cost me a lot of things. I’m tired of pretending I don’t miss you. I don’t care about looking bad anymore.

I don’t care who makes the first move as long as one of us does. Maybe it’s time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our hurt. And this is what my heart says… “There’s no one like you, Terri.”

I look for you in the eyes and breasts of every woman I see, but they’re not you. They’re not even close. Two weeks ago, I met this girl at the Rainbow Room and brought her home with me. I don’t say this to hurt you, but just to illustrate the depth of my desperation.

She was young, Terri, maybe 19, with one of those perfect bodies that only youth and maybe a childhood spent ice skating can give you. I mean, just a perfect body. Tits you wouldn’t believe and an ass like tortoise shell. Every man’s dream, right?

But as I sat on the couch being blown by this coed, I thought, look at the stuff we’ve made important in our lives. It’s all so trivial.

What does a perfect body mean? Does it make her better in bed? Well, in this case, yes. But you see what I’m getting at. Does it make her a better person? Does she have a better heart than my moderately attractive Terri? I doubt it. And I’d never really thought of that before. I don’t know, maybe I’m just growing up a little.

Later, after I’d tossed her about a quart of throat yogurt, I found myself thinking, “Why do I feel so drained and empty?” It wasn’t just her flawless technique or her slutty, shameless hunger, but something else. Some niggling feeling of loss. Why did it feel so incomplete?

And then it hit me. It didn’t feel the same because you weren’t there, Terri, to watch. Do you know what I mean? Nothing feels the same without you, baby.

Jesus, Terri, I’m just going crazy without you. And everything I do just reminds me of you.

Do you remember Carol, that single mom we met at Mt. Sinai Baptist Church? Well, she drops by last week with a pan of lasagna. She said she figured I wasn’t eating right without a woman around. I didn’t know what she meant till later, but that’s not the real story. Anyway, we have a few glasses of wine and the next thing you know we’re fucking in our old bedroom. And this broad’s a total monster in the sack. She’s giving me everything, you know like a real woman does when she’s not hung up about God and her career and whether the kids can hear us. And all of a sudden she spots that tilting mirror on your grandmother’s old vanity. So she puts it on the floor and we straddle it, right, so we can watch ourselves. And it’s totally hot, but it makes me sad too. ‘Cause I can’t help thinking, “Why didn’t Terri ever put the mirror on the floor? We’ve had this old vanity for what, 14 years, and we never used it as a sex aid.” (Some of this I thought about later.)

You know what I mean? What happened to our spontaneity? You get so caught up in the routine of a marriage and you just lose sight of each other. And then you lose yourself. That’s the saddest part of all for me.

But I keep thinking we can get it back. I know we can, because I only want this stuff with you. Saturday, your sister drops by with my copy of the restraining order. I mean, Shannon’s just a kid and all, but she’s got a pretty good head on her shoulders. She’s been a real friend to me during this painful time. She’s given me lots of good counsel about you and about women in general. (She’s pulling for us to get back together, Terri. She really is.)

So we’re drinking in the hot tub and talking about happier times. Here’s this hot girl with the same DNA as you (although, let’s face it, she got an extra helping of the sexy gene) and all I can do is think of how much she looks like you when you were 18. And that just about makes me cry. And then it turns out Shannon’s really into the whole anal thing and that gets me to thinking about how many times I pressured you about trying it and how that probably fueled some of the bitterness between us. But do you see how even then, when I’m thrusting inside the steaming hot Dutch oven of your sister’s cinnamon ring, all I can do is think of you? It’s true, baby. In your heart you know it.

Don’t you think we could start over? Just wipe out all the grievances and start fresh? I think we can. I keep thinking that I think if you’d just try it, I wouldn’t have to pressure you so much. Because who needs all that bitterness, Terri? It just tears us apart. And I can’t be apart from you.

Because I love you.

Ah ha ha

DC PRO-SPEC 2.0

DC Shoes Pro-Spec 2.0 Racing Shoe

I’ve been test driving these DC Pro-Spec 2.0s lately. The first time I wore them was at the gymkhana in Songkhla and they worked like a dream.

I was actually kinda worried at first because they are so radically different from the Pro-Spec 1.0s but once I slipped them on all my worries went away.

DC Shoes Pro-Spec 2.0 Racing Shoe

The fundamental difference between the Pro-Spec 1.0 and the Pro-Spec 2.0 is that the 2.0 is a much sleeker shoe.

If anything it gives me the feel that it is a slightly more “casual” racing shoe, but maybe because this one is not FIA-certified like the Pro-Spec 1.0.

DC Shoes Pro-Spec 2.0 Racing Shoe

But just because the shoe is not FIA-certified doesn’t mean it’s any less performance orientated – every part of the shoe is designed to assist drivers perform to the best of their abilities.

Taking all the research and feedback that they received from the Pro-Spec 1.0, DC has created the perfect “club sports” driving shoe for motoring enthusiasts.

DC Shoes Pro-Spec 2.0 Racing Shoe

If you are someone who regularly competes in club-level motorsports events like autocrosses, gymkhanas, drift events, rallies and track days then this is the shoe for you.

The shoe is damn comfortable (like a regular sneaker) and if you’re hanging out at a meet from morning till night your feet will be well-taken care of for sure.

DC Shoes Pro-Spec 2.0 Racing Shoe

Racing shoes always have rounded heels – this is to make pedal action with your feet easier/smoother.

The soles have been specially formulated to provide minimum pedal slip during heated driving.

Even with all the padding and cushioning on the insole of the Pro-Spec 2.0, you still get plenty of pedal feel, which is vital for any driver.

DC Shoes Pro-Spec 2.0 Racing Shoe

I can’t decide which one I like better, the Pro-Spec 1.0 or the 2.0. Both are great in their own way and I’m lucky I have both so I can choose whichever one I feel like wearing!

DC continues to manufacture the 1.0 for those who need FIA-certified racing shoes but one thing that I think a lot of people will like about the 2.0 is the price. Due to the fact that the Pro-Spec 2.0 is not FIA-certified, it costs about half of what the 1.0 costs (FIA certification costs A BOMB) so the consumers win!

Trust me, these shit all over the other so-called racing/driving shoes on the market!

KEN BLOCK GYMKHANA 3 CAR INTERVIEW

Watch this interview with Ken Block at the launch of his Gymkhana 3 car in San Francisco.

It’s hard to concentrate on what Ken is saying because there’s some fucker in the background getting his freak on.

Can you recognize who that is?

Hahaha

*UPDATE* – I was informed by Renee Renee that the man in the background is in fact – international playboy Ricky Dorigo, who strangely enough, bears a STRIKING resemblance to Renee Renee himself. Hmmmmmmmmmm

PENANG CUISINE: WAN TAN MEE

Wan Tan Mee

One type of hawker fare that Penang is most famous for is the ubiquitous wan tan mee.

“Wan tan” means dumpling and “mee” means noodles.

There are typically 2 types of wan tan mee – 1 is classified as “dry” (like the one above) and the other is classified as “soup” which basically means it comes in soup. Duh

Sometimes the wan tan is fried, or sometimes it is boiled.

It also comes with some pickled chillis. I don’t know why but Penangites have to eat EVERYTHING with chilli.

Chilli always overpowers other flavours and I suspect a lot of hawkers put a lot of chilli in their dishes so you don’t notice that the ingredients that they are using to cook your food are not particularly fresh. *ahem* *ahem*

Wan Tan Mee

Every wan tan mee stall has it’s own secret blend of sauce for the dry version but of course there are a few better-known stalls – such as the corner kopitiam (coffee shop) opposite the police station in Pulau Tikus on Burma Road in Penang.

I’ve been a huge fan of this particular stall since I was a kid and I really have been eating his noodles for like 30 years. But the funny thing is, I don’t know the name of the kopitiam. There is another kopitiam right opposite it so be careful you don’t get the wrong stall!

Wan Tan Mee

The best part of this particular stall’s wan tan mee is the fried lard.

Ok, it’s not the healthiest thing on the planet, but food that is unaturally delicious never is.

Check it out if you have time (they are only open in the morning) and the next time I go I’ll remember to get the name of the kopitiam for you, k?

KEN BLOCK’S GYMKHANA 3 CAR REVEALED

Ken Block's Gymkhana 3 Car

Yesterday in San Francisco, Ken Block revealed the new car he is going to be using in the 3rd installment of his incredibly popular Gymkhana videos.

Ken Block's Gymkhana 3 Car

The Olsbergs Motorsport Evolution-built Ford Fiesta is capable of up to 850-horsepower but in order to “maintain tractability” is has been restricted to “only” 650-horsepower.

It is capable of 660 lb.-ft of torque (?!?!?!) and can go from 0-100 in 2 seconds.

Ken Block's Gymkhana 3 Car

Given the specs of the car and the talent of the driver, I expect nothing less than a mind-blowing display of automobile acrobatics this summer when Gymkhana Three is released.

And if it sucks, I’ll blame it on the car!

Hahaha

2011 IMPREZA STI SEDAN – WTF?

Subaru might be calling it the fastest STi ever, but I think it’s the UGLIEST STi ever.

I can’t bring myself to like even one bit of this car. It’s just plain hideous. The rear of the car is the absolute fucking worst – it looks like a rip-off a Hyundai Accent, which already tried to rip off the GD-generation Imprezas.

A rip-off of a rip-off … Who the hell signed off and approved this for production?

PLEASE SOMEONE BRING SOME SOUL BACK TO SUBARU.

SONGKHLA GYMKHANA (PART 8)

Southern Motorsports Club Gymkhana Competition, Songkhla, Thailand

It was kinda late when we finished at the Songkhla gymkhana and the border closes at 12 midnight so we had to spend a night in Danok. There’s not much to do in Danok, there’s basically one main street and a couple of side streets with some bars, pubs and massage parlors.

Before we crossed back into Malaysia the next morning, I was hungry and wanted to find some grub but the only thing I could find was Bak Kut Teh.

Southern Motorsports Club Gymkhana Competition, Songkhla, Thailand

What the hell, eating Bak Kut Teh in Thailand … hahaha … I don’t even eat this very often in Penang (which is very famous for Bak Kut Teh) and I’m having it for breakfast in Danok.

-_-”

Southern Motorsports Club Gymkhana Competition, Songkhla, Thailand

For those who don’t know … Bak Kut Teh is a herbal soup with pork ribs and other assorted pork bits in it. The name literally translates to “meat bone tea” and is a very popular dish in Malaysia.

I don’t eat it too often because of the strong herbal taste but sometimes it’s ok.

The Bak Kut Teh in Danok is pretty bland in taste and it’s not something I’d recommend.

If you want really good Bak Kut Teh there are plenty of good restaurants in Penang!

Southern Motorsports Club Gymkhana Competition, Songkhla, Thailand

The one thing I love about Thailand is their iced tea!

They use a different type of milk from the one that Malaysian coffee shops use, which is also another different type of milk from the ones that Hong Kong coffee shops use.

It’s really sweet, but it’s sooOoo dope!

Southern Motorsports Club Gymkhana Competition, Songkhla, Thailand

Ahhh … refreshing …